Keeping Up With Jonas

Nine

The Husband and I met each other about nine years and two months ago.  Nine years ago today, we went on our first date. 

Happy anniversary dude.

Here's a song that played at our wedding, almost five years ago:

The Segways Strike Back: Disney's Segway Plaintiffs Win Latest Round

I'm back from my awesome Disney cruise!  Pictures to come.  But in the meantime, there's been a major update to the case I'm currently obsessed with, the suit to force Disney to allow Segways into its parks.  This on-again-off-again case is now hardcore on-again. 

You can catch up on the case on my Disney index page.  As a brief recap, three disabled folks sued Disney demanding to use their Segway devices in the parks.  Plaintiffs are seeking class action status to their lawsuit.  While the case was dismissed without prejudice due to the Plaintiffs' lack of legal standing, the Plaintiffs later amended their complaint.  Disney then moved to dismiss the amended complaint, arguing that (1) Plaintiffs have failed to state a claim upon which relief can be granted (i.e., the Plaintiffs aren't even alleging a violation of the law) and (2) Plaintiffs still lack standing to sue (i.e., the Plaintiffs aren't sufficiently affected under the matter at hand). 

On May 12th, while I was on the Disney cruise, Plaintiffs submitted their opposition to Disney's motion to dismiss.  The next day, without even letting Disney reply to Plaintiffs' opposition, the judge filed his order denying Disney's motion to dismiss.  Wow.  A one-day turnaround ruling doesn't occur too often.  Even if judges quickly decide on a ruling, they usually at least try to make it appear that they have taken their time in issuing a careful and well-reasoned ruling.  Plus it usually takes a few days to draft a ruling.

The court's order rules that Plaintiffs have standing to proceed with their suit.  Regarding Disney's claim that Plaintiffs have failed to state a claim upon which relief can be granted, the court tersely ruled that Disney's motion is premature.  The court found that Disney's arguments need more factual exploration and resolution before they can be addressed.

Disney will now file an answer to Plaintiffs' complaint, and the case will then proceed into discovery (i.e., depositions, document exchanges, etc.).  If the parties fail to settle the case before the end of discovery, Disney will almost certainly move for summary judgment, asking the court to dismiss all or part of the case before trial.  I predict this case will get dismissed before trial since it appears that Segways may be dangerous in crowds, and I believe that disabled guests are entitled to reasonable accommodation, not the most sought-after and technologically advanced accommodation.  Disney already allows disabled guests to rent or bring their own wheelchairs or slower-moving scooters into the parks.  However, in the nutty and often unpredictable world of litigation, who knows what will happen.  Stay tuned.

You can read Plaintiffs' opposition motion here: Download P_opposition_dismiss_ault.pdf

You can read the Judge's decision denying Disney's motion to dismiss here: Download Deny_Motion_Dismiss_AmendCmplt_Ault.pdf

Fwd: my post

Here's Patrics no-frills Idol recap live from the Disney cruise

> > American Idol Season 7 – The Final 3 > One of the more appealing story lines of AI Season 7 for me
> has been the extent to which Syesha Mercado has refused to accept
> the odds against her and has, against all those odds, landed in the
> final three. You may recall that, as much as I personally liked her
> even then, I was repeatedly predicting that the voters were about to
> give her the boot a couple of months back and, indeed, she has,
> Wednesday in and Wednesday out, spent most of her time these past
> couple of months among the weekly bottom three. The sheer force of
> her will (plus some of the better vocals in the competition) have
> allowed her to survive week after week, despite all the allegations
> that she is too plastic or that she hasn’t shown us enough personali
> ty. Unfortunately on Tuesday evening, that sheer force met up with
> an even more powerful force: the hell-bent intent of AI’s producers
> to stage an all-David finale next week. Syesha stood no chance. Ra
> ndy Jackson and, even moreso, the producers threw her under the bus
> with their song choices for her last evening and, while her own song
> choice was itself suspect, she was left with little room to deliver
> the home run (if you’ll excuse the sports analogy) she needed last
> evening to give herself a shot at crashing the producers’ party next
> week. In the end, this evening’s elimination ceremony will have as
> little suspense as last week’s did: so long, Syesha. See you on Br
> oadway. >
> Before you go, though, Syesha, I should note that I fully
> expect that your exit from the campaign this evening will be a
> graceful one. For weeks – indeed, months – now, you have fought
> on and persevered despite the odds against you and the comments of t
> he punditry that you are toast, refusing to go away before all the v
> otes are counted. Jonas, you’ve previously suggested that David Coo
> k is this competition’s Hillary Clinton but I’m starting to think
> that in fact it was Syesha in the role of HRC this season! Now let’
> s just hope that Senator Clinton follows Syesha’s lead with a gracef
> ul exit stage left (or stage center, I suppose). >
> On the topic of the producers’ transparent efforts for some
> weeks to engineer an all –David finale, I find it interesting to not
> e the significant amount of common ground between you, Jonas, and yo
> ur nemesis on all topics Idol, the gay man who writes Entertainment
> Weekly’s weekly Idol assessements. He is an acknowledged David Cook
> fan, and feels little love for David Archuleta, but he made two obs
> ervations this week with which I suspect you’ll have great sympathy:
> (i) the producers of Idol have this season “repeatedly undermined [
> the show’s] own credibility”, as you’ve argued, and did so
> again last evening by unfairly disadvantaging Syesha and (ii) more a
> mazingly, the producers have, in his view, replaced David A. with Da
> vid C. as their preferred choice to win the competition. While offe
> ring unenthusiastic assessments of two of David C.’s three performan
> ces last evening, he notes nonetheless: >
> Oh, and guess who the producers want to win now. Not the poor child
> who had to try to sell Dan Fogelberg's ''Longer'' to the advertiser-
> desired demographic of 18-to-34-year-olds. Not the chick who was
> slapped hard with that tacky dance track you've never heard before.
> Nope, apparently Nigel & Co. are now squarely behind Rocker David,
> since they served him ''I Don't Want to Miss a Thing,'' delivered
> hot and fresh by songwriter Diane Warren herself and garnished with
> the kind of ''serious strings section'' drama usually reserved for
> the Oscars, Very Special Grammys performances, or Fourth of July
> fireworks with the Boston Pops. >
> Now, I understand, Jonas, that your view is that the producers have
> been favoring David C. for some time now (and I imagine that the
> insertion of David A. in the dreaded lead-off position, with David
> C. in the coveted “pimp spot,” last evening only confirmed your
> view) but let’s just savor a momentary truce with this bit of common
> ground. I should note that my own view remains that both Davids ha
> ve been the beneficiaries of preferential treatment and that the pro
> ducers have very much wanted both of them in the finale (and that it
> ’s the Carlys and Syeshas of the competition who’ve been screwed
> along the way as a result). Indeed, Jonas, I think that your new Id
> ol nemesis should perhaps be MSNBC’s Idol reviewer, who had the foll
> owing to say today about the judges’ preferences this season: >
> David Archuleta has been the judges’ favorite all season, and every
> week he gets raves for the quality of his voice. He’s not a great st
> age presence, and his ever-present smile is the extent of his effect
> ive engagement with the audience most nights. But he can hit the not
> es he has to . . . . >
> Well, we’re clearly not going to settle the question of which of the
> two Davids has been preferred more by AI’s producers and judges (as
> for judges< I’d suggest that Simon and Paula prefer David C. while
> Randy prefers David A.) so let’s move along to my assessments of las
> t evening’s performances (with significant doses of the reactions of
> others, as always). >
> On an evening when all three contestants performed generally solidly
> from a vocal perspective, it was song choice more than any other
> factor which dictated which of the evening’s performances hit the ma
> rk and which didn’t. Unfortunately (or fortunately) for the contest
> ants (and especially poor Syesha), most of those choices were out of
> their hands, as their first and third songs of the evening were sel
> ected by a judges and AI’s producers, respectively. >
> David Archuleta: >
> Song 1 - And So It Goes: Round 1 was clearly the highlight of last
> evening’s show, with at least two of the judges proving themselves m
> uch more adept at selecting songs for the contestants than either th
> e show’s producers or the contestants themselves. Paula was one of
> those two judges and, in my view, she chose a much better song for D
> avid than any he's chosen for himself lately. David’s vocal perform
> ance was so very good through most of the song that its few rough sp
> ots didn't matter much. He delivered with his first performance of t
> he evening. Nonetheless, David Cook campaign manager Simon Cowell l
> aid out the Cook campaign’s talking points for superdelegates follow
> ing David A.’s performance by fairly noting that, if you ignore the
> beautiful vocal, you don't have much in the way of originality from
> the performance (the Cook campaign's primary argument with superdele
> gates being that, with Cook, you get both vocals and originality or,
> as you might suggest, Jonas, “originality”). I think Simon’s
> point is a fair one but I’ve also been arguing for weeks, from the t
> ime Simon first proclaimed that David A. needed to leave his comfort
> zone, that David’s prospects in this competition will be best if he
> remains planted firmly in his comfort zone and keeps voters focused
> on his strength, which is his generally very solid vocal performanc
> es. Time magazine’s reviewer suspects that Archistas will agree: >
> “It's a fastball down the middle for him — a big, hymn-like
> ballad that he emotes well and doesn't dress up with too many runs.
> As Simon says, he didn't exactly step outside his comfort zone, but
> I doubt his voters want him to. David Archuleta _is_ a comfort zone
> .” >
> Meanwhile, while agreeing with Randy that David would have done
> better to deliver this performance from behind a piano and noting
> the return of David’s squinting, Entertainment Weekly’s reviewer
> nonetheless concludes approvingly that “[t]he way the kid stripped t
> he song's arrangement down to just a light sprinkling of strings mad
> e his performance sound borderline a cappella and highlighted the pu
> rity of his tone.” Nicely done, David – and Paula (though,
> Paula, I have no idea what you were trying to convey with the string
> of disjointed words you delivered in introducing David’s performanc
> e and, for that return to incoherency, I add a special thanks). >
> Song 2 - With You: This was, for me, clearly the weakest
> performance of the evening. Simon and Randy were right on in their
> comments following David’s performance. Even if the vocals had been
> great (and they were the most uneven of the evening thus far), David
> wasn't able to pull off this song choice and, in that respect, I th
> ink he would have come out better by staying inside his comfort zone
> and delivering something predictable. Once again, my advice to Dav
> id is to not try to show us another side of himself; that hasn’t wor
> ked yet and it’s not going to. There is only one (appealing) side t
> o David as a performer but, fortunately for him, it is one to which
> many people have responded and one which very possibly could leave h
> im as this year’s Idol. He needs to choose songs (but preferably no
> t exceedingly cheesy or dull ones, as often seems to be his inclinat
> ion) which put the focus on his generally solid vocals. He should c
> oncede the votes of those clamoring for originality (or “originality
> ”) to David Cook and try to beat him by motivating his base with per
> formances like Imagine. Time magazine’s reviewer focuses on the awk
> wardness of David’s second performance by commenting: >
> OK, first: I don't want to see David Archuleta do anything with his
> pelvis. Ever. I don't want to know David Archuleta _has_ a pelvis.
> He's like the anti-Elvis: I want him shot entirely from the waist
> up, and yet for completely different reasons. I do give David credit
> for trying to stretch with a contemporary upbeat song for his
> choice, but as we've seen before, he just _isn't_ contemporary, and
> when he tries to do upbeat, his dancing is weak and nervous and his
> delivery gets all Epcot Center. >
> Meanwhile, MSNBC’s reviewer concludes that, this time, David’s
> performance was “neither pure nor stunning” and Entertainment
> Weekly’s reviewer returns to form by labeling David’s second
> performance “deeply embarrassing” and then continuing: >
> . . . I disagree with Randy and Little David that a white boy can't
> convincingly sing about his ''boo.'' The color of David's skin had
> nothing to do with why ''With You'' was a catastrophe. Instead, why
> not point to his season-long struggle to handle nonfunereal rhythms,
> or the way he can't seem to break out of his ''catch a rainbow''
> hand-extension dance move, or his general discomfort tackling mature
> relationship-themed material? >
> For me, these are all good questions and reasons why, as talented as
> he is (especially when you consider his age), David Archuleta may
> not be quite enough of the “complete package” that many voters
> want in their Idol. >
> Song 3 - Longer: I think that Simon was correct that the producers
> did no particular favors for David with this song selection since,
> while he sang it beautifully, he was also not terribly believable in
> delivering the song’s lyrics nor could he really be expected to be s
> o (at least the producers were much kinder to David than they were t
> o Syesha!). Following the performance, Simon said he believed that
> David had done enough to secure a spot in the finals but, while Simo
> n may in fact be right in terms of where the votes are, I'd prefer t
> o see Syesha perform first before saying who I believe deserves to j
> oin David Cook in the finals. Then again, I haven’t read the script
> for next week’s show, and Simon presumably has and, as such, presum
> ably knows that it is one show in which Syesha will not be acting.
> Time magazine’s reviewer comments that “[t]hree decades after the
> '70s, this ballad still pours like molasses, and David A. turns it i
> nto the prettiest love song an elf ever sang to a unicorn.” Enterta
> inment Weekly’s reviewer is firmly back on the Little David-bashing
> bandwagon, however, observing as follows: >
> My biggest chuckle of the night was watching Randy and Paula use
> complex code to critique Little David's ''Longer.'' Randy looked
> positively unenthusiastic about what he had just seen, tepidly
> declared it ''an interesting song choice for me for you,'' and then,
> as if he had just remembered who he's supposed to be pimping for the
> final two, used his top two clichés of the season — ''phone
> book!'' and ''in the zone'' — and then screamed ''another hot one fr
> om you!'' (Good save, Mr. Jackson!) Paula, for her part, flatly decl
> ared, ''It was a lovely performance, David. I expect nothing more. I
> t was just very lovely.'' (I know, Paula, I don't expect anything mo
> re from Little David than a bland, straightforward ballad with lots
> of runs, either!) Only Simon had the guts to tell Little David he wo
> uldn't criticize him for getting stuck with a horrible, gooey ballad
> that you'd expect to come out of a 90-year-old. >
> In the end, I’m again with Simon: you can’t blame David for what
> the producers’ song selection left to be desired. His vocals were p
> erhaps his best of the evening and, with them, he probably did indee
> d sufficiently erase the memory of his second performance to squeeze
> all the life out of Syesha’s faint remaining hopes. >
> Syesha Mercado: >
> Song 1 - If I Ain’t Got You: In the video preceding her first pe
> rformance, Syesha joined us – alone - from the back of a limousine.
> Is my memory failing me or does that make her the first Idol in his
> tory apparently without a mayor? Syesha noted that Alicia Keyes is
> her favorite artist but I think Randy did her no favors with this so
> ng selection. It was inevitable with this song choice, and Syesha’ >
>
Download american_idol_08_13.doc

We're Off

We set sail today on our Disney Cruise and also celebrate Gman's first birthday.

Another Reason the Idol Producers Want Archuleta Out

We all know that the American Idol producers are doing all they can to ensure that the fix is in against David Archuleta in favor of The Sacred Cow.  The Sacred Cow is an uninspired choice since he can only sing grungy ballads well, but the producers have made him their pick.  Of course, while the producers' plan is working, it's also backfiring as viewers are abandoning Idol in record numbers while other shows, like Dancing with the Stars, are seeing ratings jumps. 

While I speculated that the producers probably didn't want a likely flaming homosexual to win Idol, there may be a different explanation for forcing The Sacred Cow on everyone.  The producers probably don't want anything to do with Archuleta's freaky stage dad, Jeff.  And who can blame them?

Jeff Archuleta reportedly yells at David and was a terror on the set of Star Search when David performed on that show.  Now, Idol producers have "banned [Jeff Archuleta] from being in the rooms where David was learning or rehearsing his songs."  Daddy Dearest Archuleta is said to have ignored warnings and encouraged his son to alter the lyrics to "Stand By Me" by throwing in a verse from Sean Kingston's "Beautiful Girls," which supposedly cost Idol extra dough in royalties.

The producers are apparently satisfied having The Sacred Cow win Idol over the more talented and versatile Archuleta just to avoid having David's weird stage dad around, even if it means losing all of those viewers.  Wow.  Daddy Archuleta must be pretty bad indeed.

Gman and Tman at Paige's Birthday

Tman: The Next Julian Schnabel?

I had only turned my back for two minutes when Tman called to show me what he drew all over his bed.

I wasn't too happy at first, but then I looked closely at the drawing and noticed it was pretty good.  I think he may be the next Julian Schnabel. 

But the thing about a Schnabel is: can anyone tell me if I'm hanging it upside down?

20 Years Ago ...

Back in my teens, I had some awesome summers at KenMont camp, a sports camp (yes, a sports camp).  Thanks to facebook, long-lost summer camp friends have regrouped and have started posting pictures.  Here's some from the summer of 1988.  See if you can spot me (hint: I had bigger hair then than I do now, but I don't come close to having the biggest hair in the photo).

American Idol: The Final Four

Programing note: I didn't realize it until now, but next week's family Disney Cruise will cause me to miss Idol next week.  I'll try to sign on from the ship and post Patric's analysis.  If we can somehow get that set up, don't expect fancy pictures or graphics in the post. It'll be no frills all the way.

We're back with a recap and expert analysis of American Idol's Final Four.  It was Rock N Roll week on Idol, but inexplicably, no one sang from Lance Bass's songbook.

First off - KUWJ wants to welcome folks directed from archuletafans.com.  Someone posted this KUWJ article, which explains Idol's ratings slide this year even as shows like Dancing With the Stars have had ratings jumps, on their message boards.  The post reprinted the whole article except for the line about me speculating that Archuleta is probably a flaming homosexual.  Hmmm.  Welcome.

Back to the show.  Not that Idol is scripted or anything (cough), but Simon Cowell went on record this week predicting a David Archuleta/Sacred Cow finale.  But Simon hasn't picked the winner yet (cough) but went on to say:   

That said, [Simon] also admits that "American Idol" is also a popularity contest and that, "David Cook has got the better voice and David Archuleta has got the teen and grandma appeal."

Another slam at the Archuleta fan.  How original.  In any event, as Simon knows, most Archuleta fans aren't teens or grandmas (not that there's anything wrong with teens or grandmas, unless you are in fact a teen grandma). 

My thoughts on last nights Idol follow in Black.  Patric's follows in blue.

On Monday, Paula Abdul texted me with her premonitions regarding Tuesday’s performances.  Regarding Jason Castro, she prophesied that this “usual charm” would be “missing” and that, this week, both his first and second performances would leave me “a little empty."  As is often the case, Ms. Abdul nailed it.

I’d have to say that last evening’s show was a bit of a disappointment, in part because there were no particularly memorable performances but, even moreso, because Paula was particularly lucid.  Let’s hope that Paula is Back to the Future next Tuesday evening.

This is the time of the season where these contestants really, really need to bring it every week.  This is getting serious (while it may only be March when America has regularly purged AI of all the gays, you know we’re getting to crunch time when the Mormons start to drop).  While a David Archuleta or David Cook, or even a Jason Castro, could get past a disappointing performance when the Kristy Lees of the competition were still lingering, a weak night could, in theory, doom any of these contestants at this stage.  Just ask Chris Daughtry.  Considering that, it was a bit disappointing that, in my view, three of these contestants performed less impressively last evening than they had one week earlier, with only Little David improving on his performances of a week ago.  For his efforts, I’ll give David A. the gold medal for this week’s performances, with the silver going to David C. and the bronze to Syesha, with Jason leaving me wondering how he’d managed to make the top 6 let alone the final 4.

Here are my individual assessments of last evening’s performances:

The Sacred Cow

Jonas: The Sacred Cow finally received the dreaded first singing slot - of course at a time when there's less disadvantage since there's only four singers left and each singer performs twice.  The Sacred Cow's first song, "Hungry Like a Wolf" was a mess and all over the place.  Go ahead and listen and then say to yourself that this is the next American Idol.  Simon couldn't bring himself to say anything negative though.

The Sacred Cow recovered on his second song, which he sang well though not perfectly.  Not that it matters at this point, but The Sacred Cow should just stick with what he's good at: his unoriginal "original" grungy ballads.

Patric:

Song 1 -  Hungry Like the Wolf:    Jonas, I suspect that our differences on the David vs. David competition will be a bit less pronounced this week than they were last week.  Having said that, I must, with respect, express my disagreement with your view that AI’s producers have consistently favored David Cook over David Archuleta and that any dimming of Little David’s prospects in this competition in recent weeks is a result of that favoritism.  In the past week, I’ve spoken directly with, or heard through a mutual connection of the preferences of, seven different AI fans in this year’s competition.  Those fans range from a 60+-year old Republican housewife in New Jersey to a single female in her 20s to gay men in Chelsea and, to my surprise, every single one of them is behind David Cook at this stage in the competition and at least half of them commented that, while they’d been very enthusiastic about David Archuleta early in this season, their enthusiasm has waned as the season has progressed.  I don’t believe that all of these individuals have been deftly manipulated by AI’s producers and judges and by media coverage. [Interesting their enthusiasm for Archuleta waned and their interest in Cook has risen as producer manipulation increased throughout the season.  I suppose that has nothing at all to do with producer manipulation and media coverage.  And of course a 60 year-old woman and a gay guy can like David Cook.  My point is that the producers and media treat Cook like he's a sacred cow, never giving him legitimate criticism when deserved and generally unfairly nitpicking Archuleta - Jonas]  In my view, David Archuleta shines, and highlights his strength (his voice), when seated behind a piano and delivering a heartfelt rendition of a song like Imagine.  Also in my view, he has been far less appealing when attempting other sorts of performances (indeed, I wonder if he might have already been booted were it not for the fact that he is 17 and adorable and that former fact makes all of what he has done all the more impressive) and that, combined with David Cook’s great vocal quality and ability to repeatedly make songs his own (I know, I know, you don’t think he’s done that), are why Little David is less of a lock to win it all than he was a couple of months ago.  Ultimately, I think that the producers have been hoping for an all-David finale for awhile now (at least since they determined to ditch Carly) and, as such, have given each David arguably preferential treatment in a number of instances.  As for singing position, if I am not mistaken, neither David had to face the dreaded opening spot until three weeks ago, when David A. led off the evening on Mariah Carey night.  David C. got his turn last evening.  On the flip side, by my count, David A. has been given the coveted “pimp spot” (closing the show) three times thus far, while no other contestant, including David Cook, has been given the same slot more than once [wasn't Cook last for Billie Jean and Music of the Night and second to last on Mariah Carey week? - Jonas]    I’m not sure who will win this competition a couple of weeks from now, and I believe that David A. still has a lot going in his favor, but, if David C. emerges triumphant, it will be because he has performed at least as well as any other contestant over the past couple of months and because people are reacting to that and not because the producers, judges and media have succeeded in a grand conspiracy against David A [I think you've misunderstood what I'm saying.  A conspiracy implies a secret. - Jonas] 

That being said, I agreed with Randy and Simon in their assessments of David Cook’s first performance last evening. This was at points more of a "copycat" version than he usually offers and, in that respect, it was not as appealing as either of his performances last week (both of which I really liked).  Generally, this was another strong vocal but, ultimately, there wasn’t much that was particularly special about the performance and, unlike with most of David’s performances, it invited a comparison to the original which, in this instance, left me preferring the original.  Time magazine’s reviewer concludes that part of the problem was that David “doesn't have the raw sexual stage presence this song needs” (Amus?) and notes also that “singing in something close to his genre means he can't do the David Cook thing of radically changing the song's arrangement [so that m]aybe he'd have been better off with Paul Anka Week.”  This was not a bomb but not memorable either and we’re at the point where these contestants need to set themselves apart from their competition every performance.

Song 2 -  Baba O’Reilly:    After a middling start to his evening, David completely redeemed himself with his second performance.  In my view, this was definitely the best of the evening to this point (though I conclude that David A. later takes the gold medal for the evening).  David once again showed, with this performance, that he has a great voice and, unlike with his first performance of the evening, he also reminded his fans of his ability to make a song his own. I have no idea what Randy meant by saying that there was something different going on with David last evening before then praising his performance.  Time magazine’s reviewer praised David for “putting the urgency back into” this Who song by “dial[ling] down” their rock classic.  I couldn’t agree more.  This is the David that many of us have grown to want to hear.  On a politically incorrect note, regarding Simon’s delivery of his comment, he is either so gay or British.  On a nearly as insignificant note, last evening was definitely a better hair evening again for David, though I hated his suit. 

Seyesha Mercado

Jonas: Syesha has really come alive since Andrew Lloyd Weber theatre week.  Syesha used to bore me to tears, but has really performed with a lot of fun energy recently. 

Syesha took on Proud Mary (Tina Turner dance moves and all - but without Tina's legs) and did a pretty fun job.  Unlike The Sacred Cow, who seems to be coasting into the final, Syesha is taking real chances with her performances by tackling a Tina song.  She did a great job.

There was a big disagreement between Randy and Simon on Syesha's second song.  Randy thought it wasn't all that great, but Simon loved it.  Personally, I thought the truth was somewhere in between.  No one can belt a song like Syesha.  But when she's not belting, she becomes more average.

Patric:

Song 1 -  Proud Mary:    My reaction to Syesha’s performance was certainly closer to Randy’s and to Paula’s (and I am particularly receptive to Randy’s suggestion that the reason Simon didn't get this performance was because he (Simon) is from England while he (Randy) is from Louisiana - I'll side with the hicks on this one).  I enjoyed this and thought that her outfit and hair were great and that she looked gorgeous.  Still, I do worry that she’s going back to the diva song book too often and that that will only invite comparisons with the legendary artists whose songs she is singing. I say she pulled it off with an energetic performance but it certainly wasn’t like watching Tina and that’s not what you want your viewers thinking during your performance.  Time magazine concludes that “[t]he vocal's all right, but the stage moves aren't; she does sort of a half-hearted Tina impersonation, down to the hair-flipping move — although I suppose the lame impression only hurts her with people who've actually seen Tina Turner's act.”  I’d give her more credit than Time for the vocal but agree that inviting comparisons to Tina was probably not the best choice she could have made with her first song selection last evening.

Song 2 -  A Change is Gonna Come:    Though she delivered the money note at the end of this performance, that note itself felt out of place in a song with these lyrics and was probably intended, as much as anything, to save what, in my view, was probably the weakest vocal which the usually consistently solid Syesha has delivered in weeks (and Randy, though chided for that assessment, was correct on that point).  In my view, this was Syesha’s first significantly flawed vocal performance in a long, long time (the criticisms others have made of Syesha have been that she seems plastic and always "on") and she picked a bad time to deliver it.  Meanwhile, Entertainment Weekly’s reviewer was “flummoxed by [Syesha’s] need to reinterpret the lyrics [of a song about the struggles to achieve rights for those to whom they had been denied] as somehow reflecting on her Idol journey.”  Still, fortunately for her (and for those of us who like her), she should be safe, thanks to Jason’s disastrous evening, and indeed she is far more deserving of a spot in next week’s show than he is.   I wish I understood exactly what she was responding to (Randy’s comments or Paula’s comments) when she started crying following the judges assessments of this performance but I like her a lot and want to see her around for at least another week.  Finally, allow me to again note that Syesha looked stunning during this performance.  

Jason Castro

Jonas:  Jason had a fantastically bad evening.   He was flat, lethargic and forgot a whole string of lines.  Most of us have seen better performances from bong-fueled guitar players spontaneously putting on a show in the dorm rooms.  I suppose Bob Marley is Rock and Roll but it's probably not what the producers had in mind.

Patric:

Song 1 -  I Shot the Sheriff:  This effort started with the wrong song choice and went downhill from there. The call of that waiting bong to Jason has been louder and louder in recent weeks and, though Simon’s assessment of Jason’s first performance may have been a tad (but only a tad) too harsh, I found myself wondering at points during this performance whether Jason had managed to answer that call immediately before going on stage.  Several weeks ago, Simon questioned Jason’s hunger for winning this competition and one could certainly understand Simon’s doubts last evening.  (Indeed, Entertainment Weekly reported this past week that Jason said, "I'll sing and if people like it, they like it. And if they don't, they don't. I'm kind of ready to go home." Also, was he mouthing "DON'T VOTE" last evening while Ryan was listing his telephone numbers?)

Jason most certainly did not show last evening that he deserves to go forward as much as any of his three remaining competitors.  Jason is very personally likeable but he'd have to do something amazing with his second song for me not to say that he's the one who deserves to go on Wednesday evening (as we know now, that did not happen).  Time magazine’s reviewer focused on Jason’s misguided song selection by noting that “when Jason performs Somewhere Over the Rainbow in his dreadlocks, it seems fresh and different — but when Jason actually performs the reggae music he embodies with his dreadlocks, he seems weak, lame and white-bread” and concluding that Jason “sounded like Muppet Marley Tonight.”  Meanwhile, Entertainment Weekly’s reviewer, a big Jason fan, focused on the lack of energy and feeling in Jason’s performances by describing Jason’s effort as “a shoulder shrug of a performance [which included] lazily strumming a few chords on his guitar while failing to infuse the Bob Marley track with the originality he brought to ''I Don't Wanna Cry,'' or the raw passion he delivered on ''Hallelujah'' and concluding that “to suggest that Jason's Rock and Roll Hall of Fame night performances were akin to waving a pair of giant white flags would be giving him too much credit, as that would suggest he spent any energy at all fighting against the David-David finale that Idol's judges and producers so desperately crave.””

Song 2 -  Hey Mr. Tambourine Man:  The forgotten lyrics and the weak ending doomed what was otherwise at least a better performance than his first.  After his Bob Marley trainwreck, he needed a home run with his second performance and didn’t deliver one.  It has been great fun to watch Jason over these past couple of months (though, personally, I have enjoyed his pre-performance videos far more than his performances) but, at this point, he most certainly deserves to go this evening. Indeed, he deserved to go before this week and I can’t help but wonder how much more enjoyable last evening’s show might have been if Carly Smithson had been on stage and Jason had been lighting up in the front row seat occupied by Carly last evening.  Entertainment Weekly’s reviewer again notes Jason’s seeming like of drive last evening by commenting that, while “Simon was going for a dig when he told Jason to pack his suitcase, . . . I can't help feeling Jason had already finished the task four or five days ago.”  So long, Jason; every time I watch a John Travolta flik followed by a Cheech & Chong or Harold & Kumar adventure, I’ll think of you.   

David Archuleta

Jonas:

David did very well tonight singing "Stand by Me" and Elvis.  He sang them really well, but I'm not a fan of those songs.  Simon gave a weird comment after his first song, but managed to give a positive review of Archuleta's second song.  Sacred Cow fans shouldn't be too upset with the praise to Archuleta.  The producers have picked The Sacred Cow to win.  Even if, by some miracle, Archuleta can pull out a victory despite the producers campaign for The Sacred Cow, the producers will still spend millions promoting The Sacred Cow's first album and singles.

P.S. - Who is dressing David in my sons' pajamas?

Patric:

Song 1 -  Stand by Me:  Allow me, first of all, to again offer a disagreement, respectfully, with your assessment of Simon’s reaction to David’s second song choice (America) last week.  While I very much appreciated your commentary on the actual message of the song (given that I had never really paid close attention to the lyrics myself) and while it is entirely possible that Little David’s selection of the song may have been motivated more by an appreciation of that message more than an intent to pander, I have little doubt that the effect, even if not the intent, of the song selection was as Simon suggested.  Especially given the massive flag waving behind David during his performance and lyrics such as “My country, ‘tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing,” I have no doubt that the morons who gave us George W. Bush missed the actual meaning of the song and accepted David’s song selection as evidence of the sort of hyper-nationalism that they apparently require of all. [it's evident a lot of folks missed the message of the song - liberal and conservative alike - but Archie shouldn't be penalized for that.  He also shouldn't be penalized that the song had the word "America" in it.  Becuase of the immigration theme, the song was Dukakis's campaign theme-song, and Dukakis hated America just about more than anyone - or so I've been told.  Archuleta's mom's an immigrant I think, the song probably means a lot to him.  I find it hard to believe David asked for the flag to fly in a video screen behind him.  But your respectful disagreement is duly noted and well-taken. :)  -Jonas] Had they seen the song as a celebration of the history of immigration to this country, Little David no doubt would have been unceremoniously booted from the contest, condemned by Rush Limbaugh and all the other right-wing blowhards and censured by Republicans in Congress.

Regarding the judges’ comments on David’s first performance last evening, Randy clearly favors David A. in this competition and Simon rightfully pointed out that it probably helped David to come immediately after Jason's disastrous efforts last evening but, having said all of that, this performance was very good because of David’s vocal quality.  Entertainment Weekly’s and Time magazine’s reviewers both offered their own praise, with the latter noting that “earnest classic R&B ballad[s]” are David’s strong suit and concluding approvingly that he “hammered this one” and the former concluding as follows:

“[While] I still find [David] as exciting as a bowl of Grape-Nuts (no milk, fruit or sugar added), I'd be lying if I didn't call the season 7 wonder teen the star of tonight's show. Randy has been all too often wrong this season, but he was completely correct that Little David is clearly ''trying to win the whole thing'' every time he takes the stage. And on technical merit alone, no one else on stage tonight could match his one-two punch of ‘'Stand by Me’' and ''Love Me Tender.''”

I agree:  Little David too often bores me with his song selections and performances but, on a night when his remaining competitors offered little in the way of memorable performances, the focus returned to vocal abilities and that’s a playing field where David A. can hold his own with David C. and Syesha. 

Song 2 -  Love Me Tender:    It’s always a wise move by David to sit down during a performance, as it takes attention away from his awkward presence on stage and shifts it to his generally pure vocals.  Many seem to have preferred David’s first performance to his second last evening but I preferred this one and felt that it was probably the best performance of the evening.  In my view, David A. has shown less versatility in this competition than some of his competitors but I’ve been saying for weeks that he should stop fighting that and just keep doing what he does best.  This sort of song is what, in my view, David does best and, in that respect, this was a much better song selection and a much more enjoyable performance than his renditions of songs like Shop Around and Sweet Caroline.   Time magazine’s reviewer concurs, concluding that David’s second performance “was the perfect nighttime serenade by the overstuffed musical teddy bear every 11-year-old girl Idol fan dreams of getting next Valentine's Day.”

Jonas:

Ranking performances from last evening taking into account both songs:

1. David Archuleta

2. Syesha Mercado

3. The Sacred Cow

4. Jason Cook

The bottom two will be Syesha and Jason.  Simon told Jason to pack his bags after last night's performances, but if I were Jason, I wouldn't jump to take that advice.  While I would have predicted Jason would be the one who goes home tonight based on performances, I'm predicting Syesha leaves because Jason forgot his lyrics.  I think that by forgetting his lyrics, Jason may receive more sympathy votes.  Plus, he was more memorable having to hum some lines.

Patric:

So, where does that leave us?  Here are my thoughts:

Ranking Performances of Tuesday Evening

1. David Archuleta Song #2

2. David Cook Song #2

3. Tie: Syesha Song #1 and David A. Song #1

5. David Cook Song #1

6. Syesha Song #2

7. Jason Song #2

8. Jason Song #1

9. Paula (she looked great last evening but failed to live up to last week’s most entertaining performance; isn’t there some gofer whose job it is to refill her prescriptions????)

Who Should Go this Evening?

Jason

Who Will Go This Evening?

Jason (though don’t feel badly; I’m confident that he’ll be feeling no pain).

Sean Kennedy Candle Light Vigil. One Year Later.

On May 16th, 2008, it will be one year since 20 year-old Sean Kennedy was brutally killed in an apparent anti-gay attack in Greenville, South Carolina.  To honor Sean's memory, there will be a candle light vigil in downtown Greenville on May 16th from 6:30pm to 8:00pm at the Main Street Plaza (River Falls Park entrance - Main Street and Camperdown Way). You can click this link to view my previous posts about Sean and his extraordinary mother Elke.  Please visit Sean's Last Wish to learn more about how Sean's family is helping to keep Sean's legacy alive by working to pass inclusive hate crime legislation in South Carolina.

The Case That Keeps Scooting Along: Disney's Motion to Dismiss Amended Segway Complaint

There's an update to the case I'm currently obsessed with - the suit to force Disney to allow Segways in its parks.

As a brief recap, three disabled folks sued Disney demanding to use their Segway devices in the parks.  Plaintiffs are seeking class action status to their lawsuit.  While the case was dismissed without prejudice due to the Plaintiffs' lack of legal standing, the Plaintiffs later amended their complaint. This post has a decent recap of the claims- or just click the Disney index page to read my previous posts about this case.

While the law provides that Disney must allow reasonable access and accommodations to the disabled in its parks, I don't believe that Disney is required to provide every disabled guest the most sought-after requested accommodation.  Disney already makes wheelchairs and motorized scooters available to guests with disabilities, and guests may bring their own wheelchairs and scooters into the parks.  Segways can travel up to 12 miles per hour and would likely pose a risk to toddlers, the elderly, the disabled and other guests in the crowded parks.

Disney had until May 1st to either answer the amended complaint or move for dismissal.  Since, in my humble opinion, there's not much to this case, it should come as no surprise that Disney made a motion to dismiss.

You can read the motion at the link below.  But to summarize, Disney's argument is that (1) Plaintiffs have failed to state a claim upon which relief can be granted (i.e. the Plaintiffs aren't even alleging a violation of the law) and (2) Plaintiff still lack standing to sue (i.e. the Plaintiffs aren't sufficiently affected under the matter at hand.

The next step will be for Plaintiffs to file their opposition to the motion.  And the saga will continue.

Download ault_dismiss_amend_cmplt.pdf

How American Idol Created Its Own Monster

The greatest moment in American Idol history occurred on Tuesday with Paula Abdul's judging malfunction.  Despite all that's going on in the world, like a war and Hillary Clinton's desperate campaign for the 2012 Presidency, the media was full of non-stop coverage of the Idol scandal on Wednesday morning.  So with not much television competition, one would expect that all that free press would translate into huge Idol ratings.  Right?

Actually, Idol took a ratings nosedive, losing 1.2 million viewers this week, making it the lowest rating the show has had in five years.

How has Idol managed to accomplish this who-would-have-thought-possible embarrassing feat?  Easy.  By creating its own monster: The Sacred Cow®. 

Weeks ago, Idol producers crowned The Sacred Cow® as this year's Idol even though this sham of a competition is still supposed to be playing out.  That's all well and good.  This is their show.  But a sizable number folks are souring at the in-your-face, over-the-top, and low-blow tactics that producers are using this year to manipulate the outcome in favor of The Sacred Cow® (previous years' producer manipulation has been less obvious and more respectful of the audience). 

The Sacred Cow® has been shoved down our throats.  Here are just a few examples: the producers have never given The Sacred Cow® the dreaded first singing slot, they worship The Sacred Cow® blindly, and they unfairly nitpick David Archuleta, The Sacred Cow®'s perceived biggest competition.

Many folks don't like how the producers and media feel they have to not only promote The Sacred Cow®, but also how they think they have to unfairly slam David Archuleta for The Sacred Cow® to win.  While I'm not quite sure what is motivating the producers' misguided fixing of this year's contest, Archuleta appears to be a flaming homosexual, and it seems the Idol producers aren't so keen on him being the next Idol.  The producers had some apparent success in their efforts to ensure The Sacred Cow® wins.  The media has joined the campaign to crown The Sacred Cow® as this years Idol.

The Idol producers and much of the media coverage of Idol (at least what Patric prints in our posts), not only give heaps of praise to The Sacred Cow®, but also routinely slams Archuleta unfairly and mocks his fans as being either old ladies or young teen girls.  In this theoretical universe where the snooty media and Idol producers live, The Sacred Cow® is considered the ultimate in cool.  Really.   

But here's how the monster is turning on its creator.  Not everyone is down with the producers pick, and not everyone likes being told what to do.  And these folks are leaving the Idol audience in droves.  Heck, I'm so tired of the blatant bias that I would probably tune out this year if I didn't write about the show.   

With Archuleta fans tuning out, this gives the producers what they want.  Sorta.  On the one hand, this means fewer votes for Archuleta, thus guaranteeing a Sacred Cow® victory.  On the other hand, there is a ratings free-fall.  The producers have gone too far.   

Here's what will likely happen.  In an attempt to stem the massive loss of viewers, the producers may (just may) give David Archuleta a fairer shake the next week or two to try to have a Sacred Cow®/David Archuleta finale.  But with many Archuleta fans fed up, not all will return to the show, thus ensuring a Sacred Cow® win.

Sure The Sacred Cow® has some talent and pulls of a great song here or there.  But the thing about The Sacred Cow® is - he's not as good as he thinks he is and not as good as the producers think he is - and there is no need to judge Archuleta unfairly to promote their chosen candidate.  At times, the producers, and the media, treat Archuleta like he's Haman (kinda like Judas).   

There's no secret that I'm a fan of David Archuleta, the most talented and entertaining contestant on Idol.  As objective as I can be about my own coverage, I think I'm rational about my judgment.  Where Archuelta deserves criticism, I'll give it.  Some of his songs are better than others.  And praise of Archuleta doesn't translate into automatically slamming The Sacred Cow®.  In fact last week I gave The Sacred Cow® the edge between the two. 

Idol producers. Here's how to fix your ratings problem.  Just give The Sacred Cow® the crown already and end this season now.  That's right.  Just write off the rest of this season and start fresh next year.  This is the longest walk to an inevitably lame and sad outcome since the 1831-1838 Trail of Tears, and I can't hardly bear to watch much more of it.

As an aside, The Sacred Cow® sounds like it would be a good Ben & Jerry's flavor.

Take Me Out

Broadway superstar Cheyenne Jackson will play Young Joe in Encores' Damn Yankees.

He'll star alongside Sean Hayes, Jane Krakowski, and Ana Gasteyer.

Oh, I Wish You Could Meet My Girlfriend. My Girlfriend Who Lives in North Carolina.

The Idol results show last night was awesome. 

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First, Ryan assured us that the “rumors” about Paula aren’t true because she’s a member of our family.  Er.  O.K.  Though I have no idea what these “rumors” are supposed to be, that’s a good enough explanation for me.

.

Then, in a scary incident reminiscent of the tiger mauling of Roy of Siegfried and Roy, David Archuleta was attacked on stage by a cougar (with a bad case of camel toe) going by the name of Natasha Bedingfield.  Thanks to some quick reflexes, David escaped relatively unmolested. 

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Idol now has a call-in segment where members of the public have the opportunity to call in to ask the contestants or judges completely “unstaged” questions, usually something personal or about their song choice. 

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There was a long "unstaged" question segment concerning Simon and his first girlfriend.  But one of the questions that host Ryan Seacrest didn’t get to last night was from a young boy from North Carolina who was asking about David Archuleta’s mysterious “girlfriend” in North Carolina. 

The question to Archuleta reads: “How hard is it to be away from your girlfriend in North Carolina?"

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Who is this mysterious girlfriend?  What connection does 17 year-old Archuleta have to North Carolina?  Archuleta attends high-school in Utah and lived in Florida when he was young.  Did Archuleta get this girlfriend before or after he belted out "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" to the first season of Idol contestants?  Is it possible that "Adam from North Carolina" is Archuleta's mysterious girlfriend from North Carolina?

.

Hat tip: the Husband

American Idol Final 5: The Smoking Gun

We're back with our recap and expert analysis on last night's American Idol.  My commentary follows in black and Patric's follows in blue.

It was Neil Diamond week on American Idol, and to my surprise, no one did that well.  I would have thought the contestants would have fared better with Neal's easy to sing melodies, but none really rose to the occasion.  But some contestants did much better than others.

Ratings this season have been down, most likely due to the producers blatantly shoving The Sacred Cow® down everyone's throats.  While in years past, producer manipulation was always present, and even apparent, never has American Idol producer audience manipulation been so roll-your-eyes obvious.  Just give The Sacred Cow® the prize already and end the season.

Sure, the producers, who admit that singing order is fixed and not random, have never given the dead-man-walking dreaded first slot to The Sacred Cow® , but do you want actual in-your-face proof of the producer manipulation?  I present last night's greatest moment - when Paula Abdul starting slamming Jason Castro's two songs even though he had only sung one at that point.  Take a look and pay close attention:

So let's think this through.  Paula slammed both of Jason's songs.  Then when it was explained to Paula that Jason had only performed one song, she said that instead of slamming Jason's second song she meant to slam The Sacred Cow®'s song because she was really looking at her notes for The Sacred Cow®.  But when Paula's programming kicked back and she remembered The Sacred Cow® is the producers' pick, she suddenly made a 180.  Within two seconds, she returned to the producers' script and claimed that The Sacred Cow®'s lackluster performance - the one that she was slamming moments before in her notes - was her favorite performance from the first round.  Er, o.k.  "The Sacred Cow® good.  Baa.  The Sacred Cow® good.  Baa."   

American Idol Season 7 – The Final 5:  “Officially the Strangest Show We’ve Ever Done”

After nearly seven complete seasons of Idol, that was Simon’s assessment of last evening’s show and it would be difficult to argue with him, thanks principally to a wonderfully (in my eyes) loopy performance by Ms. Abdul.  I would venture so far as to say that Paula’s commenting on two Jason Castro performances when he had in fact only performed once ranks as one of the most memorable moments in Idol history.  While Paula haters (you know who you are!) will take her performance last evening as further evidence of why she must go, those of us who appreciate Ms. Abdul were glad to have her back last evening, after several disturbing weeks of near coherency.  I only wish I’d been watching the show through her buzz; it sounded rather entertaining. 

The blogs are buzzing today about what has already been dubbed “PaulaGate” by some.  Stay tuned to KUWJ-TV for updates on the latest breaking developments on this situation.

Just yesterday, I read suggestions for Idol’s producers, set forth on votefortheworst.com, intended to make the show more entertaining.  Those suggestions included “get[ting] rid of Paula unless [sic] she’s going to be loopier too.  Get Paula really drunk before the show.”  I first made the same point on this blog on May 4 of last year [see below] and I couldn’t agree more.  Thank you for listening, Nigel!  This is how I love Paula and why, in my view, she needs to be on the show.  If she were this looped every week, that alone would be enough reason for me to watch Idol!  Her performance was the single most memorable of the entire evening.  What’s more, as noted by Time magazine, Paula is apparently a seer, as her prognostication of Jason’s second performance before-the-fact proved remarkably astute.  Paula nailed it in foreseeing that Jason’s “usual charm . . . was missing” from his second performance in a way that left us feeling “a little empty.”  Well done, Paula!  I hope that you were equally astute in later projecting that David Cook is the next American Idol!

[Included in my May 4, 2007 post:  P.S.  A note about Paula.  I noted on AOL a list of the “Top Ten Reasons Why ‘American Idol’ Season Six Sucks.”  While I don’t agree with the premise (personally, I think any of this season’s Final Four is vastly more interesting than Taylor Hicks), I do have some sympathy with the list’s Reason No. 1:  “Paula's Way Too Coherent:  We like our Paula liquored up with a live mic in hand! It's just the shot in the arm this show needs. Get Paula sippin' on some sizzurp, and she'll be spouting the gibberish we've come to love.”  I have one gay friend who disapproves of Paula’s messiness.  I have pointed out to him that he and so many other gay men love television characters like Karen Walker and Patsy Stone, so I can’t understand why he or they would not appreciate a homo-loving, fiercely-dressed diva who is a bit, shall we say, messy, when we are given one in real life.  I love Paula but agree that she has been insufficiently loopy this season.  Will someone please refill her prescriptions!?]

Though no one else could compare with Paula for entertainment value last evening, here are my individual assessments of the evening’s other performers:

Jason Castro

Jonas: I've grown to liking Jason's personality the last couple of weeks - especially his mimicking of Ryan during the opening a few weeks ago and being caught mid-yawn last week.  But while it's one thing to be laid back when singing, it's another when it seems like you're not even trying.  He didn't do well this week at all.

Patric:

Song 1 -  Forever in Blue Jeans:  I thought that this was generally pleasant but was reminded, as always, that Jason does not have the strongest vocals of the remaining contestants.  Entertainment Weekly’s reviewer, a Jason fan, comments also that, “[f]rom a star-making standpoint, too, it's also a tad troubling that after 11 weeks of live performances, I'd have a really hard time mentally differentiating any of the outfits Jason's brought to the Idol stage . . . ([t]here's been a little too much beige over denim, no?).”  While I won’t take points away from him for his uninspired wardrobe choices, I think it’s time for this eminently pleasant, likeable dude to return to a waiting bong in Texas (I’d say, “Take me with you!” were it not for the part about Texas; that’s just offensive!).

Song 2 -  September Morning:  For our assessment of Jason’s second performance, we will now go live to Neptune, where it is tomorrow, and KUWJ correspondent Aula Pabdul.  Laugh at her if you must but her assessments were far sounder than Randy’s, in my view, last evening.  As forseen by Paula, there were just too many rough spots in Jason’s second performance and I was once again reminded, as always, that he is just not as good a singer as his remaining competitors.  Simon and Randy made it seem, in their assessments of Jason’s performance, as if he was much worse than he’s been previously but, in my opinion, as much as I find Jason personally very likeable, I’ve never been as impressed as the judges or much of the country with his merits as a singer.  Time magazine’s reviewer agrees, concluding that Jason’s performance “just sound[ed] like a bad version of someone else's song,” but Entertainment Weekly’s reviewer cries foul, suggesting that Jason was “royally shafted” by having to perform his second number “only moments after hearing how much Paula was going to hate it.”  I’d feel more sympathy if he’d done anything special or memorable last evening but, in my view, he or Brooke deserves to go home.  Still, he has a winning smile.

The Sacred Cow®

Jonas: The Sacred Cow®'s first song was awful.  His second was really good.  He's fortunate it was a two-song night, though I'm sure if it was a one-song night, Simon would have been thrilled with The Sacred Cow®'s first performance. 

Patric:

Song 1 -  I’m Alive:    O.K., here we go, Jonas.  I’m guessing that our weekly split on the question of David vs. David will be more pronounced than ever this Wednesday.  Fortunately, our difference has remained good-spirited and amiable and hopefully is making for a more interesting read of these posts than if we agreed on all these contestants.  At least we agreed on Kristy Lee Cook! 

I thought that David’s performance was awesome.  It was not vocally flawless but he totally made this song his own (something which Little David, despite his generally very strong vocals, rarely does, in my view).  Probably my most significant difference with Simon (who called David’s second performance last evening “brilliant”) was his assessment of David’s first performance as just “okay.”  I actually had the same reaction as Entertainment Weekly’s reviewer, who noted that he “actually preferred the growling, inspirational ''I'm Alive.''

Song 2 -  All I Really Need Is You:    Jonas, I’m guessing that you viewed the judges’ comments following David C.’s second performance as further evidence of their bias in favor of David Cook (and you could be right) but, for me, I’m with Paula in that I think that he’s the best of those who remain (though, in fairness to Paula, she probably foresaw this much before I recognized it).  On my scorecard, David goes 2 for 2, with 2 of the top 3 performances of the evening.

Here's the performances as seen through The Sacred Cow®-glasses:

Brooke White

Jonas:  Wow.  This was really bad.  Really.  Really.  Bad.  The judges supposedly liked her second song because it was better than her first.  While that's true, both performances sucked.  The first one just sucked more.  And. It. Just. Looked. So. Awkard.

Patric:

Song 1 -  I’m A Believer:    I should acknowledge that I am again officially a bit hostile toward Brooke after she took the place of the more deserving and more talented Carly in this week’s show.  Still, I do not think that it is my bias which leads me to conclude that Brooke’s first performance was, to put it charitably, not great (though Paula seemed to love it, unless she was up on her feet and dancing because she was experiencing David Archuleta’s performance of Sweet Caroline five minutes before the rest of us).  A month ago Brooke seemed like a possible finalist but now she seems, to me, clearly not at the level of the top three remaining performers in this competition.  One of her problems is that she is just not a natural on stage (unless she has the security of that big piano between her and the audience).  Time magazine’s reviewer concurs, observing that “she's just not suited to uptempo numbers, which make her look like she's performing Dance Time at a preschool.”  I’m sure the toddlers would adore her but, if she doesn’t really deliver with her second song, she deserves to go.

Song 2 -  I Am, I Said:    Back behind the piano where she belongs, Brooke delivered her best performance in weeks (despite some bumps in the road, most notably a rough final note) and, in doing so, bested Jason for the status of “Fourth Best” last evening, in my view.  Simon was right on to observe that, whereas Brooke and her audience can usually all feel comfortable when she’s behind that piano, she always seems, when standing with a guitar, as he would put it, a bit “karaoke.”  Time magazine’s reviewer concludes that “[t]his was Brooke being Brooke, before we completely forgot who she was. If she were doing this more consistently as she had for a while early in the finals[,] [s]he'd be contending for the final two.”  I’m not sure that I’d go that far, since the last few weeks have exposed a number of Brooke’s limitations (vocally and as a performer on a stage), but I concur completely that this is what Brooke should have doing all along.  Entertainment Weekly’s reviewer was even more enthusiastic, concluding that “[t]he way Brooke's voice broke on the line ''I am, I cried'' gave me chills, and also made me realize that sensitive artists should never, ever have to (a) condense a gorgeous ballad into 90 seconds and (b) look out into the audience and see a herd of generic white chicks robotically swaying their arms out of rhythm.”  Ultimately, I think that Simon’s assessment of Brooke’s performance was closest to the mark.  While she deserves points for her heartfelt rendition of they lyrics she sang, her performance was not amazing and certainly not the equal of the top performances of the evening.  Meanwhile, Paula proves her versatility in her comments following Brooke’s performance by this time transporting herself to the past and making an inexplicable reference to Idol Gives Back.  I expect that, next week, Paula will be joining us from Season 2, seated on the lap of Corey Clark. 

David Archuleta

Jonas: Last week Patric summarized comments from EW a couple of times in his commentary.  I don't read outside Idol analysis, but from what Patric posted, it seemed that EW praised Jason Castro's universally panned "Memory" performance and laid heavy criticism on David Archuleta's wonderful "Think of Me" performance.  Er, that sounds like a credible source.  Kind of explains their "The Sacred Cow® good.  Baa." coverage.  In any event, the anti-Archuleta producer and media campaign is probably taking its toll on the public by now.  I doubt Archuleta will even make the top three. 

Thanks to Andrew Lloyd Weber, who said that Archuleta closed his eyes when he sings, poor Archuleta now sings with his eyes extra-open.  The Husband is very concerned if Archuleta strains to keep his eyes wide-open at this pace, they may dry out soon and fly across the room. 

Archuleta's Sweet Caroline was by far the only bright spot of the first round.  Randy Jackson couldn't help but be honest by calling Archuleta "da bomb" in his quick first round summary.  Expect Randy to get a stern talking to from the producers and emerge with a black eye or two from the meeting. 

Archuleta's second song, America, was solid.  Simon did not seem to understand that the song, from Neil Diamond's The Jazz Singer, is a positive interpretation of the history of immigration in America and not so much a straight-up traditional rah-rah patriotic theme-song.  Simon just could not get past what he wrongly perceived to be an outright "fuck-the-rest-of-the-world" anthem simply because the song is called "America."  Sure, the Neil Diamon lyrics are a bit hokey and over-the-top, but there's more to the song than Simon thinks.  Simon said nothing real about the performance but implied that Archuleta only picked the song out of some patriotic desperation.  Archuleta (whose mom is an immigrant, I believe) remained classy after Simon's critique.  Seventeen year-old Archuleta knew what the song was about, but I don't think he understood that the song went over Simon's head. 

I'm assuming the song choice didn't go over well with the snoots at EW either.  Come to think of it, I don't think Reverend Wright dug the song choice.  But you should judge for yourself. (p.s. check out Lavi Soloway's thoughts on the performance: Obama/Archuleta '08!)

Patric:

Song 1 -  Sweet Caroline:  Sorry, Jonas (and I’m guessing that we disagree), but this was just not as good, in my view, as David Cook’s (or Syesha’s, for that matter), first performance.  Little David is quite strong vocally (despite some regular rough spots) and, particularly given his age, his abilities are really quite impressive but his performances are generally less interesting (and original) than David Cook’s for me.  You’ve noted before, Jonas, that you feel that the show’s producers and certain judges are biased in favor of David Cook and you could be correct in that assessment (though I suspect they’ve been trying to engineer an ALL David finale).  Still, one judge who appears squarely in Little David’s court is Randy, who pronounced this unspectacular (in my view) performance “da bomb” (Randy, I’d say this one was closer to deserving one of your “a’ights”!).  Entertainment Weekly’s reviewer feels the same, concluding that “while the kid continues to hit almost every one of his notes . . . , I'd be lying if I said I wasn't troubled by the disappearance of the contestant who nearly moved me to tears 10 weeks ago with his rendition of ''Imagine.'' Every time Archie takes the stage, I feel like I'm watching a deleted scene from Steven Spielberg's A.I.: Artificial Intelligence; the power and precision are there, but the heart and soul got lost somewhere on the Build a Better Idol assembly line.”  Also, as with Brooke, he is always best when seated behind the piano.  At least my assessment is nowhere near as harsh as those of the reviewers for Entertainment Weekly, who concurred with Simon’s assessment of David’s performance as “amateurish,” and Time magazine, who concluded as follows:

David A. is immune to anything I write anyway, so I'll say it: I despised this performance. He took one of the finest pure pop songs and abused it, turning it into a soupy mess, oversinging, overmugging and losing the melody in a slalom of runs. This tasteless, theme-park performance is an example of everything that is wrong with him, and of why he will probably win Idol.

No surprise there, I imagine, my friend!

Song 2 -  America:    In my view, Little David made some of the less interesting song choices of the evening but Simon was no doubt correct that, like Kristy Lee Cook before him with God Bless the U.S.A., David was very astute in choosing a song that his fan base will likely eat up (Entertainment Weekly’s reviewer notes the same, concluding that, while David’s performance “couldn't have been more American-cheesy if it had been wrapped in cellophane stamped with the word Kraft[,] [a]s Simon noted (while not uttering a word about the actual vocal), it was a smart choice of song to send Little David's fans into a speed-dialing frenzy.”  As with his first performance, I thought he showed at points that he has a very strong voice but that there were also some rough spots.  I also again note that, as with Brooke, he should be required to always sit behind a piano.  Ultimately, in my view, I think that David Cook can match him vocally and completely outperform him.  Still, he’ll of course be safe and would have been even without the pandering second song choice.

Checking in again with Time magazine’s reviewer, David gets some praise the second time around, though you’ll no doubt note the back-handed nature of it, Jonas:

Here's a game: take the discography of the featured mentor any given week. Imagine which song would make most sense performed by Up with People at halftime of the 1985 Super Bowl. David Archuleta will perform that song. That said, this is a great improvement on his Sweet Caroline travesty. He nails it technically, and like an Olive Garden lasagna, this song can take as many additional layers of cheese as he cares to lay on it. Well-done, and, with the patriotic theme, well-played too.

Syesha Mercado

Jonas: She's really come into her own the last two weeks.  I thought she did a decent job.  In the end,